March 7, 2018
I’m going to be honest here, I should have wrote this months ago, I actually said I was going to. Guess what? I didn’t! So, here I am writing this. It’s better late than never, and if you’re here reading, I hope you stick around and read the rest.
This past year I often would ask myself, what am I doing? For most of the year I didn’t have an answer, not for me, or anyone. My mind had been fogged by the “busy”, and a sickness that wouldn’t leave my sweet husband. It was a hard year to say the least. For a long time I was very bitter about the whole year. I cried a lot. I’ll admit I lost my “sparkle”.
I came to a realization in an ER room in October where I began to write a version of this post. I started to write the following –
“I’ve been compelled for sometime now to write this post, and as I sit here in a cold sterile hospital room by my husband’s side, I feel that now is the time to share my story. This story is about time and how valuable it is. To be honest, this year has been my hardest, it’s left me broken. As I sit here trying to pick up the pieces of what I like to call my “brokenness”, and for whatever reason I am also humbled by the circumstances. My story begins Fall 2016. One of my busiest years, I traveled to more places than I could count on both hands. I was busy. So busy that I waited till the end of October to take my Brooks to a corn maze, and when I finally decided to “show up” they weren’t open. Which left me feeling like a failure as a mother. Brooks didn’t mind, because he is precious in that way. That’s something I’m thankful for. It was after that day I said I would never do this again”.
I write, because it’s therapeutic, but as more doctors came in, more warning bells rang, I stopped writing. The next week we spent our days in a 10×10 room with a small window overlooking a parking lot filled with cars. To say it felt like jail, it did, and I commend anyone that endures sickness. It’s not a fun road. What I have learned from it is that there is beauty that comes from it, even in the smallest amount. We don’t always see it at the time, but it shapes us, and for my case, it’s given me a new perspective and a heart change.
Why did I start my goal planning post out like this? At the time I was really mad about my circumstances above, but it allowed me to see a bigger picture that had blinded my heart for years, and that’s why I’m sharing this with you. I hope this inspires you to think beyond a year when you plan out your goals. I hope this helps you see what’s really important in the big picture of your life. After the jobs end and the travel is gone, I don’t want you to look back and have regrets.
Goal planning beyond a year, what does that even mean?
This past year has taken me into uncharted territory. In a way, I feel as if I’ve had a bit of a heart transplant. A year of brokenness and uncertainty to shake me to the core. This year woke me up from a slowly dying and numb heart. I’m going to shamefully admit I got obsessed with my work, a very unhealthy obsession, one that I put above everything else. I’ve always been a do-er my whole life, and for the most part I still am. I’m just “doing” in a different way these days.
For the past 4 years I have put my value and “success” into how much work I could do. I thought the more work I can do the more successful I will be. In reality that isn’t true. Success isn’t measured in the amount of work you do friends, it’s measured in how well your served everyone you encountered during your work.
This year I also realized that we all have different types of “work” in our lives. Just as our daily job is our “work”, we also have “work” at our home with the ones that love us most. Just like building a business we also build relationships, and finding a balance between the two is important for your long term goals.
Writing out your goals
I want you to dig deep here when you write out your goals. Make a list of short term, long term, and family/ friend goals. Why are family and friend goals so important? Family and friends need to be a goal (top of the priority goal), because if you were asked, where do you see yourself at 80 years old. You wouldn’t say working, you would say surrounded by family and friends.
I read a book this past year called Make it Happen by Laura Casey, she talks about your 80 year old self. After reading that line in her book, “where do you see yourself when your 80”. I instantly had a moment where I couldn’t visualize when I am 80, because I was so focused on the NOW!
I’m not saying to not dream big! I want you to plan to the clouds, I want you to plan BIG! I’m just asking that you keep in mind the bigger picture here. As you grow, and you keep meeting your goals, your dreams and plans will grow too, don’t forget about that family and friend goal, because they keep us grounded and loved.
One of the most heartbreaking things is to have friends not ask you to do anything anymore, because they think your to “busy”. True story. It’s hard to juggle it all, isn’t it? We can all take a little more time for the ones we love, there’s nothing selfish in that. Remember that!
Goal plan with your 80 year old self in mind. I’ve asked myself this a lot lately. How will this goal effect all the other goals, and how can I plan this goal to work with all the other goals. It’s a whole other concept that I’m proud to take on. I like having 3 columns on my goal planning sheet, rather than two. The one in the middle is my family/ friends goal, and it has a heart around it, because that’s my 80 year old self there when the work is gone, they will always remain.
What are my goals for 2018?
Whatever your planning for 2018 I hope this inspires you to dream big in a way that is unconventional, a plan that will truly see you through beyond the year.
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Thank you for the beautiful words. I spent six days as well at the end of October by my husbands side while they tried to determine what was causing all the symptoms. Our goals changed in an instant.
I am so sorry to hear that! Yes, it’s something that is bittersweet, but what I beautiful blessing it has been!
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