July 12, 2019
Today’s post comes from a deep rooted problem that I personally have. Negative self talk. I have my good days, I have my bad, and when it’s bad, it’s bad friends. Like grab a carton of ice cream and loath in my sorrow kinda bad, or a Debbie Cake and a lifetime movie.
I was drying my hair the other morning before church, and it’s like God slapped me in the face with the words: “Why do you keep doing that?” These words hit home for me.
I’ve been training with a friend for a local running event. If you know me personally you know that I hate running, it’s not my thing at all. I cringe thinking about it.
I remember our first day running the course. That’s honestly the reason I’m writing this post today. That first day was brutal! It was 90+ degrees. The entire time I told Mandie I sucked, I couldn’t do it, I was out of shape, and that I was a crazy person to think I could do this run. I walked a lot that day. The whole time I told myself I wasn’t good enough.
I went home feeling defeated. You better believe I loathed. Yes, ice cream was involved. Ok, maybe a Debbie cake, or both if I’m being honest. I sat there with all the things and decided to dig into my self helpery. I picked up a book by Jen Sincero that night, she’s my go to girl when I need a good kick in the pants.
I read a chapter talking about this very thing. Negative self talk. We ALL do it, we say we aren’t going to do it, but yet we fall back into the “I suck” every, single, time.
A few days later I met with Mandie to run again. I promised myself I wasn’t going to say anything negative about myself while we ran. I didn’t stop that day, I ran 3 miles straight. All because I decided to fill my mind with positive affirmations instead of negative ones. That same week I ran 5 miles, because I made the decision in my heart that I didn’t suck, that I could do this.
We constantly let negative self talk rule our lives. With what we wear, with how we look daily, to how we let the opinions from others affect our thoughts.
We choose to hear negativity louder than the positive.
I recently read a quote on Instagram that put a lot into perspective:
“How cool is it that the same God that created mountains and oceans and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you, too?”
Sometimes we let our negative self talk take control of our purpose. We start to believe those lies we tell ourselves. “I’ll never do that.” Has always been mine. If I would have only believed the truth sooner, I would have left my day job far before I did to pursue my photography career.
Years ago I would have never posted this type of picture, but it’s growth. It’s getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Owning vulnerability in a way that’s bigger than me. I’m not “Miss fitness”, I’ll never be, but what I am is healthy, living, and I’m learning to love all the pieces.
I hope you fill your hearts with goodness today. Your smart, your beautiful, your amazing, and you can do anything that sets your heart on fire. Squash that negative self talk and go do that thing!
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