Wedding day first looks explained

Wedding day first looks explained 

Over the years I’ve noticed the same question that arises with every bride that I chat with. First looks, should we, or shouldn’t we? I recently had a follower over on Instagram ask me my opinion of first looks. She was torn on whether or not they should do one. I’ve never shared my view of this topic on the blog. That is what inspired me to share this with you today. I thought about all the other brides wondering what the best decision is for them as well. 

I’m not writing this post to persuade you in any way. If you follow my stories on Instagram you know that I’m real and honest, or at least I hope you know that. I’m not a sugar coated person. I want you to take all the facts for what they are and make your own decisions based on what is right for you and your partner. 

The “tradition” of why the groom doesn’t see the bride before the wedding.

I turned to google, but I will tell you I found a lot of articles repeating the same information. Me being the Southern Living loving gal that I am turned to their blog. Here’s what they had to say from their post “The concept of it being bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony actually started from arranged marriages, where it was believed that if a bride and groom saw each other before the big day, they’d have enough time to call off the wedding.” Here’s the link for reference, with a few other fun facts about wedding traditions I had no idea about click here.

Now that we know why the tradition started. I’m going to break down the pros and cons to having a first look vs not having a first look. Again, I want to stress that I don’t care what you do, I’m here to make you happy, and if that means no first look that’s perfect for me, and I assure you that if I’m not your photographer your photographer doesn’t mind either. Our job is to be there for you and be supportive. 

Pros and cons to having a first look

1. I’m going to be honest here and say that first looks make our life as a photographer so much easier! I’ll take one for the team fellow photography friends :). This is why it makes our lives a little easier, because we have more time with you. If your my bride you’ve heard me say this before, it’s beyond true that anytime you have your pictures made, I don’t care if you’ve had multiple sessions, the first 20 minutes are hard, because it’s not your normal routine having a camera in your face. After the first 20 minutes you relax and become you, and you realize your hanging out with your friend again, and you forget about the camera. Don’t get me wrong, we can totally make magic in 20 minutes for sure, but I can always tell when we start and when we finish, because you relax at the end of the set and those are always the favorites. 
2. Your going to get more pictures. For the sheer fact of time, because you have more of it together. We schedule our first look and portraits for an hour (most photographers do). And then again at sunset for 15-30 minutes. 
3. If your wedding day forecast calls for rain, sometimes we can get all the portraits in before the rain hits. We’ve photographed many weddings with rain where you can’t tell it rained at all, because we finished before the storm came, just for having a first look.
4. Grooms being emotional. This can go either way. I’ve seen grooms sobbing at the first look, and then at the altar without a first look. I do feel most grooms are more comfortable without an audience. I’ve noticed they become so comfortable with our presence they forget we are there during your first look.
5. All your photographs could potentially be finished before cocktail hour, or you’ll just have a few family portraits and still be able to mingle at cocktail hour if you want. The other upside if your wanting to save money on not having a cocktail hour you could do all your portraits before the ceremony. Most of our couples have a cocktail hour, but that’s another option you have to think about.

Pros and cons to not having a first look

1. One good thing about not having a first look is not having to get ready as early. Who doesn’t want to sleep in on their wedding day!
2. Couples that usually opt out of a first look usually only get 30-45 minutes of portraits together, and 45 minutes is stretching it, that’s on a really good day! Bridal party takes 15-30 minutes, family portraits take 30 minutes or 45 depending on the list. Breaking things down that’s 1 hour and 45 minutes. Most couples, (if I’m being honest family members) worry about you being away from the reception that long. Guests will begin to eat usually 15 minutes after cocktail hour. I totally understand, and we try to be sensitive to the fact, weddings are such an important day. I do draw the line, I won’t cut portraits back of you and your spouse. I won’t go lower than 30 minutes, because capturing your legacy matters. Yes, weddings are a big production there’s lots to factor in, but I’ll never take away time from you. You deserve to have the images. You’ll thank me later for it. 
3. One thing to think about if your not planning on a first look is start the wedding earlier. This way you can schedule sunset portraits in and spend 30-45 minutes instead of 15 at your reception taking portraits. We always try to talk with our brides about this during the beginning stages of planning that way we can make sure we get extra portraits in later. 
4. I’m not sure what other photographers do, but I offer all my couples a day after session if it rains, especially if  we don’t get to head back out for sunset portraits when there isn’t a first look. Just keep in mind when scheduling for your honeymoon you’ll want to leave a day later instead of the day after if you want to have this cushion built in just in case. 

I think this covers most of the pros and cons. Both options are very doable. I think having these things to think about will help each of you as you continue to plan. Neither option is right or wrong. It’s about what you want as a couple. Take a few days and reflect about it all and pray about it. You’ll know what to do, I promise.

With love,

Michelle 

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